


Yours Is The Light By Which My Spirit's Born

by sana



Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 13:19:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11059803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sana/pseuds/sana
Summary: In an alternate universe, Kinomoto Touya unlocks the power of the Clow Cards...





	Yours Is The Light By Which My Spirit's Born

_"Key that hides the power of darkness, reveal your true nature to me. By my power, I command you... RELEASE!"_

The key shuddered and began to grow in the palm of his hand, stretching into a long, golden staff. The handle was clad in wrappings of deep blue silk, and a gilded emblem - a sun nestled within a crescent moon, sheathed by white wings - crowned the top. It was unmistakably a mage's tool, a symbol of magical power... but it was also heavy enough (and pointy enough) to double as a weapon. With a deep sigh, Kinomoto Touya took hold of the summoned staff and tapped it against the ground, shattering the magic circle that had formed beneath his feet.

"...No matter how many times I have to say that spell, it still sounds stupid."

Touya was a junior in high school, long past his days of waging make-believe magic battles against his classmates in the small park near Tomoeda Elementary School. And yet here he was in the same park he'd played in as a child, standing in the shadow of the penguin-shaped slide as lightning cut angrily across the night sky. The concrete penguin seemed a lot smaller than he remembered it, even though the rest of the world was bigger than his childhood self could have possibly imagined. It made Touya feel like he didn't fit anywhere anymore. 

At least the violent weather made it unlikely that any passerby out for a stroll would see him lurking around a playground in the middle of the night, pretending to be a wizard. That was how you ended up institutionalized, or on a government watch list.

"Don't blame me, I didn't write the spell!" retorted Keroberos, Touya's fearsome familiar... or so Kero himself claimed. He looked more like a plush toy than the mighty guardian depicted on the front cover of the Clow Book. Kero insisted that his true form was much more impressive, but at his current diminutive size, his magical abilities were limited to eating impressive quantities of food. "Anyway, if we don't catch that card soon, we're dead meat! Then you can take your complaints straight to the guy who _did_ write it!" 

As if to punctuate Kero's scolding, a bolt of lightning struck a nearby streetlight and exploded into a shower of yellow sparks. The neighborhood was plunged into sudden darkness as the local electric grid shut down, but gradually Touya's eyes adjusted to the eerie greenish light of the roiling clouds above. While the air was thick with humidity and the smell of ozone, no rain fell. This was no ordinary early summer storm.

"While you were standing around whining, the card got away! We've got to find it and return it to its true form before it causes any more trouble!" Kero continued his admonitions, beating his little wings furiously as he scanned the park. Something flashed in the trees, and then on the roof of a nearby house, but like a bolt of lightning it moved too fast for Touya to track. All he saw were the glowing afterimages seared onto his retinas. "The THUNDER card isn't like WINDY or FLOWERY... if it goes out of control, people could really get hurt!"

"Don't blame me! That dumb spell is so long that it's no wonder it got away!"

"You're the one who broke the seal on the book! It's your fault that the cards escaped!"

"Only because the so-called 'guardian' was sleeping on the job!"

"I wasn't sleeping, I was just resting!"

"For 30 years straight!?"

"Ah..." interjected a gentle voice. Nevertheless, it was enough to make both Touya and Kero pause their bickering. Tsukishiro Yukito, Touya's best friend and the only other human he trusted with the secret of his magical alter ego, gave them a bemused smile. Yukito had heard this argument countless times before, after all, and he knew that there was more bluster than genuine anger behind the words. "I'm sorry to interrupt," he continued lightly, "but I think THUNDER is coming back around for another attack. Perhaps it would be a good idea to start running?"

"Crap! Kero, how am I supposed to fight this thing!?"

"You're a Card Captor, aren't you? Use the cards!"

Thankfully, Touya had had the presence of mind to grab his school bag on his way out of the house. Juggling the awkward staff in one hand, he rummaged through the front pocket until he felt the familiar stack of cards which was, unfortunately, much shorter than it had been the first time he'd encountered the Clow Book. The cards had scattered in all directions when he unwittingly broke the book's seal, loosing powerful magical forces on the mundane Tokyo suburb of Tomoeda. That had been back in March - three months ago. In that time, Touya had managed to recover a handful of cards that now obeyed his commands. He was a Card Captor now, and it was both his destiny and his duty to master the cards and become the rightful successor to the great wizard Clow Reed.

Or so Keroberos claimed. Keroberos also claimed to be a lion, even though he looked more like a deformed teddy bear, so Touya figured that it was best to take a skeptical view of the whole almighty wizard thing.

His fingers brushed the smooth, slightly warm surface of the deck, and the cards seemed to hum in response to his touch. If Kero was to be believed, the cards were alive... and they had a much better sense of what they were supposed to do than Touya did. He knew without even looking that the top card in the stack was the one he needed. He flung the card into the air and struck it with the point of his staff, freeing the magic sealed within. "SHIELD!"

A bolt of yellow-white lightning crashed above their heads, then instantly fizzled into thousands of harmless sparks as it struck the true physical form of the SHIELD card: a huge, silvery metal wing that encircled them in a protective bubble of energy. But even SHIELD couldn't protect them from another direct attack of that magnitude. They'd have to run.

"Come on!" shouted Yukito, whose pale, delicate looks belied natural athleticism. He'd taken off at a run as soon as SHIELD's power dissipated, dodging and darting like one of the white rabbits for which he'd been named. "The THUNDER card is strong, but I don't think it's very smart! It's only attacked when we're standing close together. If we all run in different directions, we can confuse it!"

Touya had to admit that it was a good plan. Yukito, despite not possessing any defensive or offensive magical power, was observant, quick and fearless; always willing to play the role of decoy while Touya fumbled through the process of sealing the rebellious card. If not for his friend's help, Touya wouldn't have caught half the cards he had. Now that Yukito was risking himself to draw the card's attention, he needed to come up with a counterattack. _Fast._

"Oh for fuck's sake..." he groused under his breath, brandishing his magic staff. There had to be a card in his bag that could stop THUNDER. Kero had explained the hierarchies and affiliations and elemental weaknesses of the cards, but Touya still didn't quite understand the complex interactions between them. THUNDER was under the jurisdiction of the FIERY card, which he'd yet to capture, so maybe it would be weak to a water-type card... but his only water-type cards were RAIN and WOOD. Could a minor card like RAIN really handle such a powerful opponent? It was a moot point, anyway. Touya hadn't even managed to force THUNDER into its true form, so the card's raw magic leapt from treetop to treetop as an arc of yellow light. "It's way past midnight! Don't these stupid cards know that I have an English test in the morning!?"

"The test shouldn't be that hard," Yukito assured him, speaking conversationally even as he dodged the bolts of lightning that THUNDER hurled in his direction. The playground and its surrounding grove of trees offered just enough cover for Yukito to lead the fast-moving card in a tight chase. Touya was bginning to see hints of THUNDER's true form - a lithe, catlike body; a mane of electric-yellow fur - but Yukito seemed to have little trouble following its movements. What he lacked in magical strength he apparently made up for in sensitivity.

"Don't give me that crap! You're fluent in English, so of course you're not worried about the test!"

Yukito laughed sheepishly. "Um, I guess I just have a talent for languages? I'll let you borrow my notes tomorrow mor-" He was suddenly cut off by a deafening _crack_ from above as THUNDER severed the limb of a tree over his head. The heavy branch crashed to the ground, narrowly missing him.

"YUKI!"

"I'm fine! Don't worry about me!" But Yukito's smile was strained, now. He'd been relying on the trees to shield him from THUNDER's direct attacks, but the card had come up with a way to use his cover against him. 

Touya needed something that could hold THUNDER long enough for him to recite the sealing spell, but RAIN wasn't strong enough, WOOD obviously wouldn't work, and WINDY was weak against fire cards... what was left?

"Retreat, retreat!" Kero squeaked in his ear. Wind churned the ominous clouds above them, but on the ground the humid air was oppressive and stagnant. Touya felt sluggish, like he was moving through water. THUNDER's next attack knocked Yukito to his knees, but Touya was still too far away to use the SHIELD card...

SHADOW. If Touya used SHADOW, he could take advantage of the card's immunity against the physical elements and use it bind THUNDER. Why hadn't he thought of that before? Ignoring Kero's panicked shouts, he reached into his bag to draw the next card.

But it was already too late. THUNDER crackled with electricity as it prepared to land the final blow. Touya could see its true form clearly now: a lean, dangerous wildcat whose body pulsed with lethal energy. Even if he summoned SHADOW, there was no way its slow-moving tendrils would reach the creature in time. If Touya had the TIME card, there might be a chance to save Yukito... but as it was, he was out of useful cards, and he was out of options. The words of the summoning spell choked in his throat when a bolt of lightning tore down from the sky.

But then there was a flash of green, and the lightning-creature let out a pained yelp as it skidded and rolled across the ground. The green flash followed its attack with another kick that sent THUNDER flying across the playground, where it collapsed into a smoking, sparking heap at the base of the concrete penguin.

A tall girl dressed in green Chinese robes cracked her knuckles and smirked in satisfaction. Her long-sleeved tunic was covered in elaborate embroidery, but her brown hair was pulled back into a tight, no-nonsense ponytail. She regarded Touya with a look of open contempt. "Quit standing around with your mouth open, Kinomoto, and seal that card!"

"Did she..." began Kero in an incredulous whisper. "Did she just _drop-kick_ a Clow Card?"

"...Yeah." Touya nodded, equally stunned. "I've only seen that move in pro wrestling..."

"Shut up, Kinomoto!" The girl's lightly accented speech was clipped and commanding. "You could try to sound a little more grateful, considering that I just saved your ass!"

Touya certainly couldn't argue with that, and there was no hiding the wave of relief that swept over his face when Yukito sat up and brushed grass from his hair. He wasn't about to thank _her_ , though. "...Cosplay freak," he grumbled under his breath.

"At least I _look_ like a proper Card Captor. Unlike the guy who's still wearing his pajamas."

Touya's sweatpants and old gym shirt may not have been "proper" Card Captor attire, but at least he didn't look like a reject from a low-budget Hong Kong action movie. Seething with annoyance, he gripped his staff. The girl gave him a dismissive snort and turned to extend a hand to Yukito.

"You okay, Tsukishiro?" she asked, pulling him to his feet.

"Um... yeah, I think so. Thanks, Li-san."

Li Xuehua had transferred to Seijou High School almost two months ago, just after the start of the new school term. She claimed to be a descendant of the Li family, an ancient clan of sorcerers in their native Hong Kong. The women of the Li clan were especially renowned for their magical abilities - Clow Reed's mother, a Li sorceress, had been legendary in her own right. Xuehua, along with her younger brother and three older sisters, had trained since childhood in magic and the martial arts. When Touya's accidental awakening of the Clow Cards after decades of slumber sent magical shockwaves reverberating through the East, Xuehua had been sent to Japan to recapture the cards that she considered to be hers by right of birth.

Sighing, Touya approached the fallen THUNDER and muttered the words of the spell that would return it to its sealed form. The exhausted created seemed to fold from three dimensions into two, becoming a thick, gilt-edged card. The back of the card was printed with the emblem of the sun and the moon, while the front bore an image of THUNDER with its name inscribed below in bold English script. Clow Reed, himself a man of mixed Chinese and British heritage, had fused Eastern and Western magic in the creation of the cards, so they could only be sealed with magical tools that were precisely aligned to their unique balance of energies: the Clow Book and Touya's staff. With both book and staff in his possession, Touya was the lawful owner of the Clow Cards... but the powerful elemental spirits within the cards had wills of their own, and chose their own master. As if carried by unseen forces, the THUNDER card was whisked away from him and into Xuehua's waiting hand.

"Why don't you just give up, Kinomoto? You're not cut out for this."

This time, Touya didn't have a sarcastic retort. Xuehua was _right_. Even though he'd had a head start of almost a month, the Chinese girl had already managed to claim nearly as many cards as he had. Using the Li clan's secret methods of divination, she was able to track the locations of the cards - something that even Keroberos couldn't manage in his current form. Touya had always been been athletic, rivaled only by Yukito when it came to gym class soccer matches, but Xuehua outclassed them both. She'd mastered Chinese martial arts and could subdue powerful cards without relying on magic at all. It was no wonder, then, that most of the strongest cards had chosen her as their master. Touya found himself with a motley collection of weak, marginally useful cards that he suspected had chosen him purely out of pity.

" _Honestly._ My little brother would be a better Card Captor than you! I've told you before - only the Li family can handle Clow's power." Xuehua huffed irritably and ran a hand through her short, tousled bangs. "I admit, you're not bad for an amateur. I'll even give you some credit for capturing the cards you've got, but things are only going to get harder from here. If you keep fooling around like this, somebody's going to get hurt. Look at what happened to Tsukishiro."

Fear twisted in Touya's chest, as cold and sharp as the blade of a knife. Xuehua was right. While he'd briefly entertained thoughts that the Clow Book may have _chosen_ him for a reason, it was becoming increasingly apparent that he'd bumbled into the world of the supernatural purely by accident. Sooner or later, Yukito would pay the price for his hubris.

"Ah, you're so thoughtful, Li-san!" Yukito's voice was dissonantly bright in the pre-dawn gloom. "Thanks for saving me. I'll let you borrow my notes too! You haven't forgotten about tomorrow's test, right?"

"...Test?" Xuehua blinked. For all of her dedication to the martial arts, she was far less diligent when it came to academics. "What test?"

"English. It's supposed to be pretty hard... I hope you studied!" Yukito beamed cheerfully while Touya resisted the urge to snicker. If it really was possible to kill people with kindness, then Yukito was a master assassin. With words alone, he'd managed to completely disarm Xuehua. She chewed her lower lip in consternation, clearly wondering whether she had enough time for a 3AM crash course in her least favorite subject.

"I..." Her cheeks flushed with a combination of anger and embarrassment. "I should go home and study. We'll talk about this later, Kinomoto." 

"See you later, Li-san!" Yukito waved, but his smile was met by a disgruntled glare. Once she'd safely pocketed the Clow Card inside her sleeve, Xuehua dashed off into the darkness.

Touya returned his staff to its pocket-sized sealed form, but he waited until Xuehua was gone before slumping into one of the playground swingsets. Once he'd sat on the same swing and begged his mother to push him higher, higher, higher until he could fly off into the clouds; only after she died had he accepted that people couldn't fly and that magic (or at least the kind used by cartoon heroes) didn't exist. Because if magical heroes did exist, they wouldn't let terrible things happen to good people like his mother. "Oi, Yuki... you're really okay?"

"I'm really okay. But you're not." Yukito took the swing next to him, and an uncharacteristically quiet Kero settled glumly onto his shoulder. Silence stretched between them, but Touya had the feeling that Yukito already knew everything he wanted to say.

"...Xuehua's right, you know. I'm not cut out for this."

Yukito smiled and looked up to the sky, where the unnatural clouds had already started to dissipate. A thin sliver of moon was doubly reflected in his glasses, obscuring his eyes. "I don't think that's true at all. Between you and Li-san, you've already been able to recapture almost half the cards, right? Lately there have been a lot fewer supernatural disturbances in Tomoeda, and thanks to you, no one has been seriously hurt. That's what's really important, isn't it? Who cares which one of you ends up with more cards in the end?"

Touya grunted in halfhearted agreement. "I guess. It still doesn't feel real, though... it's like something out of an anime." That made Yukito chuckle softly.

"Kinda like collecting all of the Dragon Balls, huh?"

"No way. I've got a lame animal sidekick, so this is _definitely_ a magical girl anime."

"Hey!" Kero objected. "Maybe you're just a lame magical girl."

"Hm," began Yukito, tapping his chin thoughtfully, "well if it's _that_ kind of anime, maybe you need a new catch phrase." He suddenly crossed his arms, taking a dramatic pose. " _'In the name of the moon, I'll punish you!'_ Something like that, maybe?" For a moment, Touya just stared at his friend's ridiculous antics... but a moment later, all three of them were doubled over in laughter.

Finally, the tension between Touya's shoulder blades began to subside, only to be replaced by a deep sense of weariness. What time was it? The streetlights in Tomoeda were still out, so he couldn't tell if the pale glow on the horizon was downtown Tokyo or the rising sun. It had been another long, exhausting night of chasing Clow Cards; another bitter, embarrassing loss to his rival. Why, as Xuehua had demanded, was he so stubbornly insistent on being a Card Captor?

It wasn't like he'd _wanted_ the job. He'd found the Clow Book by chance in his basement, squeezed onto a dusty shelf with the rest of his father's eclectic used bookstore finds. Kinomoto Fujitaka was an archaeologist, but Touya suspected that his father simply enjoyed collecting old junk. He still couldn't explain why he'd felt compelled to open to _that_ book out of all the hundreds there, or why he'd dumbly agreed to make a contract with Keroberos and take on the dubious mantle of "Card Captor." Touya was already working several part-time jobs, and the last thing he needed was an unpaid internship to be a dead wizard's apprentice. 

But then he'd thought of his sister, Sakura, who hated ghost stories and still checked her closet for monsters before she went to sleep. If the Clow Cards were as powerful as Kero claimed, was she in danger? Touya had promised on his mother's deathbed to take care of his sister... he couldn't let anything happen to her. If that meant taking orders from a talking teddy bear, then so be it.

But why was he _still_ chasing cards? When hadn't he turned the book, the staff and the guardian over to Xuehua, an objectively more qualified candidate?

The answer, obviously, was sitting right next to him. Touya glanced over to his friend, who smiled back. Yukito was the first and so far only person that he'd told about the cards, and he'd embraced the existence of magic with enthusiastic delight. Kero had explained that while the vast majority of people couldn't directly perceive the cards at all, those with a little talent for magic could see them. Touya had always known about is own sixth sense - ever since he was a child, he'd caught occasional glimpses of his mother's ghost - but Yukito never knew about his own latent magical ability. Maybe that hidden side of Yukito had always craved proof of its own existence.

And damn it, Touya was going to give it to him.

"If Kero-chan's count is accurate," Yukito began, stifling his laughter, "almost half of the cards have already been caught. I'd say that we're doing pretty well for a couple of amateurs."

"What do you mean _if_ my count is accurate? There are 52! 52! And Touya only has 10 of them!"

"Like I'd trust a guardian who naps on the job."

Sensing an impending argument, Yukito pulled a piece of candy from the stash in his pocket and popped it in Kero's mouth before the usual bickering could resume. "Still, 10 isn't bad at all. I wonder what happens if you manage to collect all of them? Do you graduate from Card Captor to Card Captain?

Touya groaned. "If that's how this works, I really am going to quit."

"Li-san _was_ right about one thing," Yukito mused. "You don't look like a Card Captor at all. Maybe we can borrow something from the theatre club's costume closet?"

"Hell no, I'm not wearing a dress again."

Kero gulped down his candy and nodded vigorously. "I agree with Yukito! Clow Reed always wore magnificent black robes... maybe you'd be a stronger sorceror if you looked the part. When it comes to using magic, confidence is just as important as talent." 

"Oh, I know! What about the witch costume from last year's school play?"

"I told you, no dresses! Besides, it's not like 'professional wizard' is something I can put on a resume."

"Professional wizard?" Kero scoffed. "You're more like a wizard part-timer."

At Kero's words, Yukito's smile suddenly faltered. He dug at the dirt below the swingset with his foot for a moment before replying, but Touya already knew what he was going to say.

"...Don't you have too many part-time jobs as it is, Touya? Maybe... maybe it is getting to be too much."

They'd had this conversation before. Touya had always assured his friend that everything was fine, but now... between work and his responsibilities as a Card Captor, it was getting harder and harder to hide his fatigue. He'd managed to keep his grades from slipping too much, but he could feel the heaviness in his body and in his mind. If he hadn't been so sleep depreived, maybe he would have figured out how to use the SHADOW card much sooner, and Yukito would never have been in any danger...

"I'm just saying..." continued Yukito, his normally cheerful tone subdued as he unwrapped another candy for Kero. "Shouldn't you be thinking about college entrance exams right now? There's no point in working so hard to make money for school if you can't even get in, right?"

Touya hesitated, then shook his head. "I can't even think about that right now. Money's still tight, and Dad got passed over for a tenured position at the university _again_ this year... I'm planning on going to work full-time as soon as I graduate." His mother's illness had left the Kinomoto family with astronomical medical bills, and Touya's father struggled to pay down their debts as a mere adjunct archaeology professor. Touya sighed, unable to meet Yukito's eyes. "I told you before... I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that Sakura never knows about our money problems. She's already lost her mom... I don't want her to have to worry about losing the house, too."

"I know, but..." Yukito started to protest, but Touya quickly cut him off.

"Just don't think about it, okay?" He forced an awkward grin, hoping that it looked more convincing than it felt. "Hey, Kero! Why didn't Clow make a card that can magically conjure money?" In a desperate attempt to lighten the mood, Touya poked the little lion's round orange belly. 

"Hell if I know. Probably because he was a rich, eccentric weirdo who never did anything that made practical sense."

"Yeah, that's definitely the impression I've been getting about him. So, how much cash do you think I can get for a talking stuffed animal?"

"...Hey! You can't just sell me at a pawn shop!"

The familiar bickering brought a smile to Yukito's face, but there was still a worried look in his eyes that made Touya's chest ache.

_I'll keep doing this for as long as I can, Yuki. For Sakura. For you._

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from the poem by E.E. Cummings: “Yours is the light by which my spirit's born: - you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars.”
> 
> Syaoran canonically does have four older sisters, so I figured that if Touya were the one to find the Clow Book, the Li family would have sent one of them to Japan instead.


End file.
